Ok, so I'm definitely not a perfect mom, but why couldn't I even be an average mom. Why don't my children listen to my instruction. Why don't they believe that I am trying to do what is best for them. What do I do differently? What have I done? Why do they keep sinning? I suppose I know in my head that they are sinners, but sometimes it just shocks me when I see how bad they really are. I guess without Jesus there really is nothing good, and I should be shocked when they do something good.
I must be crazy to be a mother. I mean, who signs up for a job like this? A job you pour your entire life into, a job you spend hours in teaching, correcting, pleading; only to be ignored. A job that you are so committed to, and your heart is so attached to, that you can be so deeply wounded. Who agrees to this kind of pain? The pain of pregnancy, the pain of birth, then the pain of them going their own way -- bent on destruction.
Not to mention the work! It is endless and mostly unappreciated. Then there's the sacrifice -- your body, your health, your freedom.
I must be insane.
I think of my own mother. I think of all the trouble I caused her, and she still loves me. I think there is Hope. I am in a battle, and must fight to the death.
I think that death might be mine.
No comments:
Post a Comment