Man v. Mess

Today is a sad day for our family, as my husband does what the majority of husbands all across America do every day -- He leaves for work. Usually he works from his office in the basement, but today his brother needs his help. His brother fell and broke his ankle. It's healing, but he is unable to finish his window washing jobs, so Eric is washing windows today.
My sister-in-law Liisa wrote about the little things that remind her Danny is not there anymore. Like a friend teaching the boys to ride a bike, or starting home-schooling with no one coming home at the end of the day to mark the switch from work to play. When I first read that I was in the midst of switching the summer clothes to winter clothes, unpacking from camping, trying to get through the mountain of laundry, preparing for the first day of school, and needing the yard mowed. My basement had flooded (just the boys accidentally unplugging the sump pump). Now I had mold to clean up from all the extra moisture. My husband picked up a broken free dehumidifier he planned to fix to help with the moisture, so far it is still in pieces. Bags and piles of clothes scattered the basement. My school books were out. Also, for some strange reason that only a crazy person would understand, I decided to sort through all the boys' toys, books and papers. Every room in the house was a mess from sorting, unpacking, switching clothes, laundry, books and school supplies, and broken electronics waiting to be fixed. It was overwhelming!
My husband sat in his office working. His door protected him from the chaos.
I thought of Liisa. I thought of her friend teaching the boys to ride their bikes. I remembered running behind my own boys teaching them. She went on to write of all the other ways friends had stepped in to fill some of the hole Danny left. Someone mowed her grass. I thought of my yard. A friend had said "It would be good for raising goats", -- I guess a lot of long grass for grazing. It needed mowing. She was given a double washer. I thought of my washer and dryer running almost solid for about two days just trying to catch up. Someone came and took a couple of her younger children so she could settle in to the new school routine. I thought how nice that would be as I faced the task of preparing and trying to schedule and teach two second grade students and one kindergarten student, and still feed and change the baby.
Then I thought, wouldn't she trade it all? Wouldn't I? Wouldn't I choose to keep the mess and chaos if I were given a choice? My sister-in-law has more help and a nicer house now than when her husband was alive, but it's just not worth losing a husband. It helped me to think of this as I faced the daunting projects waiting for me. It helped me to focus on the things that really matter -- like the people we love -- not a clean, organized house and a well-kept yard. We don't love our husbands or our children for what they can give us. It's not the help that matters. We just love them.
Also, I am happy to say that by God's strength the toys are sorted, the clothes are washed and put away, the winter clothes are in the drawers and closets, the basement is clean, and the lawn is mowed.