For Better or For Worse

I hear women say, "My husband is wonderful." Do they mean that their husband is wonderful or that they think their husband is wonderful. Splitting hairs perhaps. But I think there is a crucial difference. Not to discredit all the wonderful qualities that someone might have, but which is harder -- to admire someone who fits the perfect husband mold or to admire someone whom you have chosen to love regardless of his flaws.
I have a friend who was hurt deeply by her husband. Her sister would gush about how great her husband was, and her heart cried out in pain. Pain is hard. I think she said something about how her sister hasn't faced what she has. True perhaps, but definitely not the bottomline; the concluding statement.
A heart is delicate, maybe it's the spirit. Sometimes I think I can almost feel pain radiating from someone's whole body. I can relate to pain that feels so consuming you wonder why you don't just fall in a heap to the floor. Like the Psalmist so eloquently writes, "I am poured out like water. All my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax; it is melted within me."
But who has the greater opportunity to show love? Which love is unconditional? Which love is like Christ's? I remember a difficult time in our marriage when I was hurt so deeply that it seemed I couldn't feel any love; pain overwhelmed my emotions. God brought me to Nehemiah. I am in awe of the love of God. His faithfulness is astounding. Perhaps someone can forgive when they are betrayed once, but God's people continually turned their backs on God. Still Nehemiah says, "Yet when they returned and cried out to You, You heard from heaven...delivered them according to your mercies...for many years You had patience with them... You are God, gracious and merciful."
A love that is tried is a love that is strong. It is unconditional. It is like Christ.
Other times I just want my own way. I'm tired of working. Tired of being the servant. Will I choose to love then? Again, will I have a love that is easy -- that loves the man who goes out of his way to show me how special I am to him, provides the things I think I need, leads the way I think he should lead? Or will I have a love that is unconditional? Will I choose to be like Christ then? Will I follow His example of sacrifice?
I think of women faithfully serving their husbands and their families -- regardless of what is given in return. Each day they are like soldiers going out to battle. Fighting enemies and entanglements on all sides, yet they press on. Determined to win this war for their Master -- to lay down their lives if necessary. These women are heroes.
I want to be a hero.