Something New

My sister-in-law and a friend, both have wedding anniversaries near the same date. They both have blogs and they both happened to write about the years since their weddings; and I happened to read both blog posts on the same day.
It was one of those days when you remember anew the pain, when tears come easily, when you think a little more about the sweetness of Heaven...
One post was about the joy of their life together -- and the time they had spent celebrating it. One post was about the memories -- because my sister-in-law had lost her husband.
Memories...that's all you have left when the one you love has passed on. I know you may have trinkets, or heirlooms, pictures, or books. But there is never anything new. Never any new pictures, never any new letters. Memories -- our friend and our enemy.
This week I'm missing my brother a little more than usual. Perhaps because this week of their wedding anniversary, I remember their wedding. I remember the brick church building. Talking with friends at the wedding. How my brothers hair actually laid down pretty flat that day. Their matching green and yellow knitted sweaters. I remember the happiness of their seven years together, and I am left wishing things didn't have to be this way.
Or maybe because this week my husband's brother was in another accident. The week before I went to West Virginia for my brother's surgery, my husband's brother was in an accident. He was rushed to the hospital. People were frantic and calls were made, but he survived. (He actually made the news because his son had been the one who had been instrumental in saving his life.) But a week later, my brother went in for surgery and never came out alive. Two brothers. Two different outcomes. So my husband's brother got in another accident this week and I am reminded.
Wouldn't we be worse off if I couldn't remember? Couldn't remember the funny things he said? His funny ideas and his unruly hair? They way he liked to talk and how everyone was his friend? The music he liked? Or even the pain when you finally said goodbye? But at the same time these memories are the enemy because they leave you hungering for something more. It gets old... you want something new. You want to experience life with them, but there is no life. Everything is old, old, old. So I long again for the day when God will make everything new! New! What a beautiful word.